I've made an effort, so far in 2005, to reach out to some old friends. Some that I haven't seen in a very long time, some that I see every day but barely interact with, and some who fit in somewhere between the two.

Out of all of the calls I've made, messages I've left, comments I've typed, there have been two people who have responded to me. Two. Out of everyone who I've made an effort to get in touch with. Even then, it went nowhere both times. No real contact, no coffee dates, just a brief phone call or quick exhange of comments, and then nothing the next time I called back.

Are people not checking their messages? Not responding to their comments? Or have I become such a doddering old married fool and father of four that I'm just not interesting to the young, hip folks any longer?

Being married doesn't make me dead. Especially when you're married to (literally!) the sexiest man alive. I know this, and Jude knows this. But does everyone else assume that I've stopped smoking, stopped drinking, stopped going out, started going to bed at nine o'clock every night?

I may be scarce sometimes. I'm the same workaholic that I've been since high school. If you know me, you know I take the show and my business very seriously. But that doesn't mean I don't have time. It doesn't mean that you'd be tearing me away from something or inconveniencing me if you answered the voicemail message I left you.

*shakes his head, runs his fingers through his hair* I need to get out. I'm going to go find Jude and see if he wants to get away from this big, empty house with me for a while.